It Cant Be Him
by EmilyGinge
Summary: Emily, was a normal girl. that was untill she moved to Texas, to live with her mum, brother and mum's boyfriend. What happens when she gets close to a certain someone... - Austin Mahone Story
1. Chapter 1

Its so early, its around 5am, I dont know why my mum has woke me up at this time, I mean we dont leave till like 8am, stupid woman, I bet you're wondering where im going, well my mum got a new job, but no where near where we live now, her new job is in Texas, TEXAS, I have always wanted to go there but moving there is a big thing, I dont want to leave all my friends You know whats worse, im not only moving away from my friends, but im moving away from most of my family too. Its only me, my mum, and my younger brother, who is 13, moving to Texas, my parents are spilt up, they have been for years, I hardly see my dad much as it is, now im never gonna be able to see him. I guess there is good things about moving, I get to move away from my stupid step family, my dad remarried, I hate them, I hate my step mum, I hate my step brother, I hate my step sister, I just hate them all, I dont really have a reason to hate them, its not like they dont let me see my father, thats my mums fault, I just dont like them. Thats probably the only good thing about moving, the rest is bad.

Oh yeah another reason we are moving to Texas in my mum found a new boyfriend, she feels like its time she moves in with him, I cant stand him, neither can my brother, I dont know what my mum sees in him. I know in a few months they will be over my mum will be heartbroken, just like her last relationship. They have been together for like a year and a half, I think they only reason she did take the job offer was to have another reason for moving us to Texas than just, 'oh we are moving there cause I wanna be with my boyfriend' he could of easily moved here, he doesnt have any family anyway, but no he has made my mum move to TEXAS.

Its like 7am now, we leave in like an hour, me and my brother are just in the living room watching tv while my mum finishes packing and stuff, we are watching Sponge Bob, yes im 15 and I watch Sponge Bob, hate on me, well anyway, right now I just want to go, the less time thinking about going, and actually going the better.

"come guys time to go" I hear my mother say, yay time to go to the airport, not. Me and my brother get up from the sofa turn the tv off and leave the house.

In the car I put my headphones in put my music on and just look out the window, it takes about an hour or so to get to the airport. The time in the airport, and on the plane we filed with me and my brother arguing, sleeping, reading a book, and watching the film they put on on the plane.

"Ladies and gentleman we have now landed in Texas, I hope you had a nice flight, and have a nice time in lovely Texas, you will be let off

shortly" I hear the captain say, thank god, I wanna get off this stupid plane now, its been too long, I hate long flights.

We got our stuff, all we had to in our bags were clothes, some things were sent over before, and we will be buying things we need, other stuff like tv and so on we dont need cause we are moving into my mums boyfriends house, which I said earlier, I bet you're wondering what his name is right, well I call him 'twat' so thats his name, for now.

I bet you're wondering what my mum and bothers names are too, well my mums name is Kelly, and my brothers name is Aaron. Not that interesting. We are in the car, on the way to 'twats' house, im not calling 'my new home' cause its not, a home is where a family lives, and me and him are NOT family.

The car stops I loo out the window and see a big house, 'this cant be where he lives' I think. Me and my brother just sit in the car looking at the house until we hear our mum say "come guys get out of the car and into our new home" me and my brother look at each other, giving the look that said 'our new home? Please this isnt OUR home'.

As soon as we get out of the car, and get our stuff out, we look up to the door, and yep thats right 'twat' is there, I dont know what my mum sees in him, he just looks like a twat all over, he has ugly hair, ugly face, ugly everything, including heart, you dont wanna know half the things he has said to me and my brother.

We went inside, and I must say he does have a pretty nice house, god knows what his job is if he is able to afford this house, he or my mother have ever told me, I assumed he worked part time in a dump or something, turns I must be wrong.

'twat' shows us which room will be ours, I have a big room, which shocked me I thought he would give me the smallest room in the house, but no, my brother also has a big room, shocked me and him both.

"Kids me and Bill are going to get food for tonight, we will be back soon" me and my brother heard from the living room, yes thats his name Bill, stupid name, I will start calling him by his name now though so you dont get confused, cause I call my mother a twat sometimes too. Well I call everyone a twat most of the time, so yeah I will call him Bill from now on.

What do we do for the rest of the day, easy watch tv and dont talk to Bill, or our mum for that matter, while eating dinner, oh I must say, my mum and Bill talking to each other...sick, I dotn know how they have lasted so long. Then me and my brother go to bed early, one cause we are tired, and two cause we have had enough of Bill.

"WAKE UP LAZY! I AM NOT HAVING SOMEONE WHO SLEEPS ALL DAY LIVING IN MY HOUSE" I get woken up by Bill shouting, I look at the clock, 7:30, like what, is Saturday why do I have to get up this early on Saturday, there is something wrong with that man.

I stumble out of bed like a zombie, I an NOT a morning person, best thing to do is just not talk to me when I just woke up. I have a shower, get dressed into sweats and a t-shirt, no point dressing up cause its not like im going anywhere.

I walk down stairs, go straight to the kitchen, grab some cereal, which im surprised he has, grab a bowl, im about to pour cereal into the bowl when "what do you think you're doing?" I turn my head to see Bill is standing at the door, great, im riding my unicorn across a rainbow, isnt it fucking obvious dipshit, thats what I wanted to say but if I did he would hit me, literally , "im making my breakfast" he just looks at me like im crazy, what is there a problem with making myself some breakfast, actually thinking about it it wouldnt surprise me if there was in this house, "not yet you're not, to have breakfast you have to earn it but doing chores first" chores, CHORES for breakfast, hat is this shit, am I in jail or something, it thought not, and anyway what chores would there be at this time in the morning, "what? Why? All I want is some breakfast"  
"well in this house you have to earn it"  
"oh really, then what would you like me to do sir, let me fuck you or something? Cause I know you'd want that, you said you did before remember"  
"i dont remember anything like that. Just go sort your bed out or something ok, and watch what you say next time." Bill walks out, oh he remembers it, okay okay he may have been drunk, like very drunk, and I do kinda look like my mother to drunk people, and its ovbious he meant my mum cause he said "oh Kelly I just want to fuck me real good right now" but still, I dont care, its the first thing that came to my mind okay. Anyway, I do my 'chores' then finally have breakfast.

Its around 1pm, we havent done anything all day, if this is what life here is gonna be like then wow, most boring life ever. We moved here during summer so there is no school, so cant make friends quickly, talking about making friends..."what are you two doing here, go out, make some friends why dont you", my mum walks in the room, thats the first thing she says, in fact its the first thing she has said to us all day, "mum its the summer holidays, its not we can just walk up to a group of people and go, hey we just moved here we need friends" I say not looking at her "Emily is right ma, we cant just randomly walk up to someone" Aaron says nodding "oh come on, im not saying do that, at least go somewhere dont stay int his house all day" now that I think about it, I would rather be anywhere but in this house "fine mum, come Aaron lets go to the beach" I say standing up and hitting Aaron.

We got changed and left for the beach, Bill's house isnt that far from the beach, its in walking distance. The beach is packed, we find somewhere to put our things down, I start sunbathing, and Aaron runs straight to the sea, okay so this is another good thing about moving here, the weather and the beaches are way better here.

Its been about 20 minutes since we go to the beach, me and Aaron are just sitting down in the sun now, making small talk, when a group of boys run past, one of them looks at me, and gives me a weird look, but I think nothing of it. Me and Aaron decide to go in the sea, we are play fighting, cause that what we do, when Aaron pushes me a bump into someone, im about to turn around to apologise, when I hear the person shout "HEY WATCH IT", I turn around and say sorry, its the boy who gave me a weird look earlier, "wow calm down dude, I sorry it was an accident" I say, "yeah well watch her you're going next time will ya" wow this boy has serious problems, "okay dude i'll watch where im going next time, god" he was about to say something back when one of his friends called him "hey Austin come on we are gonna play some football" he gives me another weird look then walks away, "that Austin boy has some problems"Aaron says, "i know right, come lets go", we leave the beach and go home, and to our surprise, no on is home, we just watch tv for a bit, then when its around 8pm, our mum or Bill still isnt home, I owuldnt be surprised if they were getting drunk right now, we order pizza, luckily I have money, otherwise we would starve cause there is no food that we can cook here, and then we just go to bed.

Im in bed about to go to sleep, when my mind thinks back to when we were at the beach, to the part where I hit that Austin boy, why though, why was I thinking about him, so far he seems like a jerk, he was cute though, he has nice eyes, wait why am I thinking this, I cant starting liking him, he is a jerk and hopefully we wouldnt be here that long, and go home soon. But I still think about him before I go to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I been living here for a week now, seriously worst place to live, so boring, havent done anything all week, my mum and Bill have gone out everyday, me and Aaron been stuck in the house everyday, watching crap on tv, there is seriously nothing on tv.

Its Friday, we start a new school Monday, im actually looking forward to it, it will give me something to do, and make some friends so im not so bored.

Me and Aaron are walking round he town, trying to find something to do, when Sarah spots us, she is with a boy, who was with the group before, I guess thats her boyfriend.

"hey" she says coming up to us

"hey"

"whats up"

"nothing, we got bored sitting in the house"

"haha this town is just as boring as staying in doors, oh by the way this is Alex, this is the one im dating" she points to the boy next to her  
"hey nice to meet you" he says

"you too" he doesnt seem bad yet, maybe its just when he is with that group "oh this is my brother Aaron"  
"cute, nice to meet you" Sarah says

"you too"

"oh I just thought, what are you to up to tomorrow night?" Alex says

"nothing why?"

"there is a party, you should both come"

"i dunno"

"oh come on Em we should it would be fun" Aaron says hitting me

"okay maybe"

"let us know, here let me give you my number" Alex says getting his phone out, switching with me, we put each others numbers in "i put Sarah's on there too, just text hers to let her know its your number, we gotta go"

"okay"

"maybe see you tomorrow then" Sarah says as they walk off, we say bye, and then I see why they had to go so soon, I see Austin, he is standing looking at me like im a freak, he hates me for no reason I swear.

We carry on walking round town, buying nothing, cause we have no money, so really just as boring as being in the house.

At the house, im still not calling it home cause its not my home, weird though my mum and Bill are here and not out, we are having dinner...together for the first time since we moved here, me and my brother just keep looking at each other like what the fuck, you know what shocked me the most, when our mother asked if we were looking forward to starting a new school, she actually talked to us, she hasnt talked to us since we moved here either, apart from shouting at us, I wanna know whats happened, are they planning something or what...im confused and so is Aaron from the way he is looking at me. "we have something to tell you guys" my mum says, and im worried now, cause whenever she had 'had something to tell us' its been bad "me and Bill...are getting married" me and Aaron nearly choke on our food

"WHAT" we both say at the same time

"we're getting married" Bill says, there goes our shot at getting out of here soon

"is this a joke" Aaron says

"no, why would it be a joke" my mum says offended

"its just we never thought you two would last" I say

"wow, you thought we wouldnt last, do you want me to be happy"

"of course we do"

"its just we didnt think he" Aaron interprets point at Bill "would be your 'happy ever after'"

"well he is, you should be happy for me"

"we are mum" I say

"good, and also we are going away till Sunday night, we are leaving tomorrow morning"

"where are you going?" Aaron asks

"just away, you two have to be good, we dont want this house trashed"

"okay mum" I say.

We finish food and me and Aaron go to our rooms, im laying down on my bed watching tv, well not really watching it, thinking about what mum told me, how could she marry that twat, what an earth does she see in him, i'll never know. I wonder where they are going tomorrow, why didnt they tell us where, oh well I get two days away from him, thats good, just then my phone buzzed, its a message from Alex 'so you and Aaron coming tomorrow night or what?' I forgot about the party, we might as well seen as we got nothing better to do, what the hell we are going, I havent got drunk in a while anyway, so it will be good for me, I send a quick text back saying 'hell yeah we coming', text Sarah lettign her know this is my number and to say me and Aaron are going tomorrow night, then go tell Aaron that we are going, he was so happy, he hates being stuck in the house, so do I, it will be fun and do us BOTH good, and we will make more friends before we go to school monday,w hich would be good.

I have a shower get into comfy clothes and watch tv, just then I thought about who will be at the party, oh god, if Alex is going that means the rest of his crew will be, at least thats how it works right, that mean jerk Austin will be there, I got to try and stay away from him and it should all be fine. I hope so anyway. I think about pretending to be sick tomorrow but whats the point, there is bound to be loads of people there anyway the chance in me seeing him and his crew are slime.

I then go to bed, still pissed off that my mum is marrying that twat though, I hope she dont make me bridesmaid, that will make it even worse. I dont even want to go to the wedding, if they have to get married I would rather them go to Las Vegas and get two random people to be their witness's and get married there so I dont have to see it, but thats not going to happen. I dont care what my mum says, I am NOT calling him 'dad' or 'step-dad' not. a. chance.


	3. Chapter 3

First day in a new school today, lets see if American schools are like what they are in the movies or on tv shows, looks like im gonna find out.

"you ready to get your school on?" Aaron says, we are on our way to school, I just look at him and shake my head, there is something wrong with him, seriously something wrong.

First class of the day, its maths, I hate maths, I want it to die, I will never need to add numbers and letters together in my whole life, its just pointless, but no the maths teachers think differently, they think you do need it, you only need it if you become a stupid arse maths teacher, thats the only job I know you need it for. I walk in the class, finding it really quick actually, I didnt get lost, I thought I would get lost as soon as I walk into this school, but so far I haven't, the teacher tell me to find a seat, I look round the class to find a spare seat, there is only one, right in the back, I look at who is in the seat next to it and its no other than Austin, great, these better not e our seats for the whole year, I would rather sit but someone who is a total nerd and gross than him. He doesnt seem to notice me sitting down next to him, he just keeps writing whatever he is writing down on his piece of paper, I try to look but cant see cause he is hiding it, which im glad about, I dont want to talk to, but I thought to soon, he looked but, his eyes went wide when he saw me, I didnt say anything, I gave him a dirty look and looked away, about 1 minute later I can feel him looking at me and all I hear is "im sorry" was he gonna say something like 'but can you piss off' after that, well thats what I though, but no, to my shock he said something else, "im sorry about what I did at the party, I was drunk, really drunk and high, I may be a jerk but im not that much of a jerk" "AUSTIN STOP TALKING" the teacher interrupts him "can I talk to you after class, I need to apologise and explain myself" I think for a second, if he just doing this to make sure I dont tell anyone, or is he for real, it couldnt hurt listening to what he has to say could it, I just nod my head "thank you" he whispers. For the rest of the lesson we dont talk to each other.

As soon as the bell goes I get up and leave the classroom, hopefully he has forgotten about talking now, cause im kinda scared he will hit me or something, when im half way down the hallway someone pulled me back by my arm, "what happened to me being able to explain myself?" Austin said, I just stood there like an awkward turtle, and shrugged my shoulders, he was just looking at me, "fine, where do you wanna talk?" I said after a while, he just nodded down the hallway, he starts walking down the hallway and I followed him.

He leads me to the gym, he sat down on the floor, I dont know why, I mean there is benches, but he decided to sit on the floor, I sat down opposite him so we are facing each other, im not gonna lie, I am scared in case he doesnt, but when I look at him, I can see something different in him, nothing I saw last week, last week all you could see in his eyes were anger, but now, its more like insecure and a lost look. I wait for him to speak first I dont really know what to say.

"im really sorry" I hear him say after a little bit

"why?"

"why what?"

"why did you do that on Saturday?"

"i was drunk, and high, I had drank way to much alcohol and took to much weed"

"that isnt I good reason"

"i know, but thats all, you can ask loads of my friends, well my few friends that I actually have, im a total different person when im drunk, or high, when you first meet me I had taken a a bit of weed, I take some everyday, if I hadnt I wouldnt of acted that much of a jerk I would of forgive you straight away"

"why do you take drugs everyday? Do you want to die young"

"no of course not, its, just a way to get through life" he says quietly, he is hiding something, but im not gonna force it out of him, "its hard to explain why, its something I dont talk about, but I really am sorry about the way I have acted around you"

"okay I understand you have stuff going on in your life, but dont ruin it by taking drugs, you're what 15? you're way to young to ruin your life"

"im 16 actually, and I know"

"but how are you in the same class as me if you're a year older"

"i got held back a year"

"okay"

"look can we start a new?"

"we could try"

"thank you, we dont have to be friends, I just wanted you to know I am really sorry about how I acted"

"okay, I forgive you, kind of, but answer this, if you take drugs daily, and you get in trouble with the police, I seen it on the news, how come you havent been done for doing drugs"

"they never checked, weird I know, but they havent, they just think I have anger problems, I have to go to anger management, when my anger is actually fine when I have not done drugs"

"the police here must be really laid back, nothing has happened about you beating someone up, and they dont do drug tests"

"they actually are, its not like anything bad ever happens here, I dont even mean to beat the people I have beaten up, its when I have been drunk or high, like I said im a new person then, when im sober I think them people are actually pretty tidy, that kid in McDonalds the other day? He is someone I grew up with, its not like I want to do that to people, I hate it, I hate that kind of stuff, its just things in my life have made me turn to drugs and alcohol and I turn into that kind of person, people here, hate me when im like that, but when im sober they like me, some have tried to help but nothing has helped me though tough times but alcohol and rugs"

"how do you even get the drugs, I get how you can get alcohol I men I am a teenager, pretty much all teenagers know how too, but drugs, where do you get the money from"

"the crew, we all pitch together, and here you can get drugs for a pretty low price"

"so what is your crew though, cause if you hate that kind of stuff why have a crew"

"its actually just a group of friends, its other people who put us into the gang type of group thing, we didnt come up with the name either, the untouchables, thats wasnt us, that was other people, cause when we are not sober no one should come near us, when we are sober we are like any other group of friends, like in school most of the time we are, there is not leader or anything, but when we are not sober I turn into the leader type person cause im the worse out of us all"

"you need to stop this drug thing, keep drinking, all normal teenagers do, but drugs need to stop, I know I hardly know you, but still yo need to stop"

"i know and I want to, I really do, im actually trying now, since Saturday I havent taken any, which is big for me"

"good on you, you seem like a nice guy now, I thought you were a total jerk before, and people who have never met you will think that too, and no one wants that to be peoples first impression of them now do they"

"no you're right, its weird, I dont talk about things stuff with people, and now im talking to practicably a stranger about it"

"i must be easy to talk to or something"

"you are" he smiles, the first real smile I have seen from him, its weird finding all this out, the bell goes, and im kind of gutted I wanted to keep talking to him, find out more about him, but I cant miss any lessons on my first day of school, any other day yes, but today no, "come lets get to class, what do you have now?" Austin says

"uh art in room 114", I like it, its a fun subject

"cool me too, lets go" he seems happy to go to art

"do you like drawing, I seen you drawing in maths, but couldnt see what"

"yeah its another thing thats helps me, it makes me calm, art is my favourite subject"

"maybe when you feel the need for drugs, you should draw instead"

"i never thought of that, I could try, but it might not work"

"at least try, for all you know it could" he just nods his head, we get to art, and I sit next to Austin, just this morning I couldnt stand the guy, I dont like him as a friend yet, but I dont hate him as much as earlier, I mean just look im sitting next to him.

AUSTIN'S POV!

Today is not my day, and no its not cause its the first day back at shity school, its cause one year ago today my twat of a father left me and my mum, its not that I miss him, its nowhere near that, its just what he has done and said, and its not like he planned going either, the only good thing he did for me, and my mum, was bring money to the house for food, but then one day, a year ago, he just up and left without saying a word, we dont know where he is or what he is doing now, my mum has been struggling with money since, she works 3 jobs, gets help from my grandparents, and then she has a kid like me, who cause of my father, can be a dick, I get in trouble with police, and im just big trouble, and some points, mostly when I have had some drugs, to calm me down or to help me out a bit, but I can still be annoying when I havent, just like any other teenager.

School is just gonna be a drag this year, cant believe I got held back, stupid arse school, at least this is my last year here, then im free. I had maths first, one of the worst subjects EVER. I was just sitting drawing, it keeps my mind off things, when I hear someone sit next to me, I dont know who it is and dont care, I just keep drawing, but a few minutes later I look up and see its the girl from Saturday and the other times during last week, great, I wonder if she remembers about Saturday, I actually really do feel sorry about that, I dont know if she remembers or not, I mean she was drunk and all, just in case I apologise, she doesnt say anything though, I ask he if we can talk after class.

The weird thing about talking to her after class was, I started telling her stuff, I was about to tell her stuff about my life that I didnt like talking about, but the bell went, it was easy to talk to her for some reason, it was like I had known her for years, when really it was only a week, and that week she hated me, and I kind of hated her, I told her the reasons im such a jerk sometimes, and I think she understood im not to sure, I wouldnt say we are friends now, but I hope she dont see me as an enemy. I feel like I will need her sometime. Its a weird feeling.

I then had art, with Emily, she sat by me but we didnt speak, she spoke to whoever the dude was next to her. I like art, but today I wasnt focused, I just drew my own thing, and the teacher lets me cause she thinks its better for me, I dont understand why, but I dont care, then English, and thats where things kicked off, no not with Emily, she isnt in my class, thank god, I wouldnt of handled three hours with her, its cause Jack was in my class, now me and him have never got on and never will, we just dont like each other, and believe it or not, with my past, it wasnt me who started on him, it was him who started on me, its the teachers fault, kind of, she has this stupid seating plane thing, if we werent sitting next to each other it wouldnt off kicked off, I was sitting doing nothing but drawing, I dont like English so I dont listen, when we started saying stuff, at first it was stupid things, but then it got worse, he started bringing personal things up, he knows a lot about me for someone who I dont like and who doesnt like me, you know why he knows a lot about me, he is my cousin, thats why, he knows everything about my family, he knows what not to say but decides to say it just to piss me off, but you know what made me hit him, when he brought up my dad, whenever someone talks about him, either it bad or good, I just go mad, I hate it, I hate him, and I hate my cousin, he knows things my dad did, cause he was there sometimes, I swear Jack is out to ruin my life, I just stand up and punch him right in the face, the amount of times I've punched him, I dont even know, I lost count ages ago, and then I throw another punch and he is on the floor already, weak shit, the teacher send me to the head teacher, I walk out of class, and leave the school, I will deal with the head teacher another time, right now I need to get away from the place, I know my mum will find out, and she will either be mad at me, or just totally ignore me. I cant leave the school completely cause of the security they have here, its stupid, so I go behind the school, where no one ever comes past, its like my own little area. I sit down on the floor against a wall, and just duck my head down, my day has gone from bad, to okay, to worse, and its only half way through the day. I scream, knowing no one will hear me, I get up and kick a rock, I dig into my pocket and grab my weed, I sit back down and just look at it, thinking about it, which I dont normally do, I just normally take a drag, but im actually thinking if I should, its kind of freaking me out, I make a drag, and just when im about to light it up, Emily comes to my mind, thats why im thinking about it, but why, its like I feel like I will let her down in I take a drag, I hesitate for a minute or two, but then I think fuck it, it dont matter what she thinks, she is just a girl who I met, and nearly told my life story to, and havent stopped thinking about for the past week, no big deal really...I take drag anyway, and it hits me right away, I already feel much better.

When I hear the bell ring, I get up and go back into the school, I see Alex, Robert, Zach and Tyler standing by Alex's locker, I walk over to them, they are my only true friends, they are in the crew of us that annoy people, but when we are sober its just us 5, "whats up boys" I say as I get to them, they just look at me, "what?"

"what happened in English bro" Zach asks

"nothing just Jack being Jack and pissing me off, so I punched him"

"what did the headteacher say?" Tyler says, he is the one of us that cares about that stuff

"nothing, I didnt go to him"

"where did you go then?" Alex says, raising his eyebrow

"out back, needed some time alone thats all"

"you took a drag I can tell by looking at you, just stay away from anyone for now"

"dont tell me what to do, you're not my father" just as I say that I feel someone come up behind me, and I know who it is

"duh he's not your father, he doesnt beat and probably won beat his own kids up" Jack says as I turn to face him

"shut the fuck up, dont forget he is your uncle not just my dad" I say pointing at him

"yeah but he loved me, he didnt beat me up daily"

"fuck you man" I go to punch him but Robert pulls me away

"your friends wont even let you hit me, arnt they good making sure you dont get into any more trouble"

"you're such a dick head you know that" I shout, still being held back

"im not a dick head, but on the topic of dicks, at least I have one"

"bitch go fuck your dog, I got a bigger dick than you"

"oh please you're the one trying to fuck a dog, who was that girl you were talking to in the gym earlier, looks like Austin wants to get in someone's bed"

"shut up. She aint a dog, and whats it to you"

"oh nothing its just any girl who wants to get with you is slut"

"wow bro, wow" I break out of Roberts grip, and go to punch him again, but his friends pull him away and start walking away, as I look to my left I see Emily standing there, she looks confused, she just stands looking at me, everyone starts walking away, there is just me, the boys and Emily left, I tell the boy I will meet them later, they leave, and the first thing Emily says is "you took drugs"

"how do you know"

"i can tell by just looking at you"

"so whats it to you anyway"

"nothing its just..."

"just what? Huh"

"i feel like I should help you I dont know why I just do"

"well I dont need help so stay away from me"

"you were right, you are way different when you have taken something, earlier it was like we were getting along kind of, but now its like you hate me"

"i dont hate you its just I dont need someone to help me get that into your thick mind"

"really dude"

"yes now leave me alone"

"no"

"yes"

"no. im not gonna let you ruin your life"

"my life is already ruined and why dont you want me to"

"well I dont want you to ruin it even more, I dont know why I want to help you I just do, if I were you I would just go home now so you dont get in any more trouble"

"you know maybe one day you should take a drag, it might help you"

"i will never go down to that level, I dont know why you do it, I dont know why you think your life is ruined, just stop with the drugs, you said earlier you would try, maybe use art to help instead of drugs"

"well guess what, I lied, everybody lies, there is no chance I will be able to stop drugs now, I been doing them for too long"  
"well go get help then, from a professional"

"you know what that would do to me, or my mum, my mum could get in big trouble and so could i"

"you are so annoying, im trying to help you but you're just being a dick head"

"you been here what, one week, you cant say nothing about me seriously though if you give me a good reason to help me then maybe just maybe I would consider it, but if not then fucking leave me alone" she stands there, starting to look scared, she whispers something but I cant hear what she says "what" I say

"Saturday night"

"what about Saturday night"

"when you kissed me"

"still not making getting it, you know im sorry about that"

"when you kissed me, I felt something different to any other time I have kissed someone"

"oh like what fireworks? Oh please" she just stands there looking at me

"yeah, and a funny feeling in my stomach, and when you were talking to me earlier at break I just wanted to kiss you again, okay, and now I feel like I need to help you, cause for some stupid reason, I feel like I want you as a friend" she says "and maybe more" she then whispers, I just stand there, did she really just say she wanted to kiss me again, and maybe be my girlfriend, no she coudlnt of, she doesnt know me, I been a jerk to her and she is saying that, she then starts walking off "Emily wait" I shout

"just leave it will you, I will stay away from you from now on" she says then turns the corner, I lean against the locker, and think about what she said, and then I think about what I felt, and it was the same, "FUCK" I shout over and over hitting the lockers, I cant be feeling this, no, not me, I dont do girlfriends, never have, plus I dont know anything about her, just her name, how could I be feeling this, "its nothing Austin just a stupid crush that will go away in a few days" I whisper to myself, I hit the locker once more then walk out of school, ignoring the security as they try to stop me, I dont care if I get detention for walking out of school, I just need to go home and sleep and get these thoughts out of my head.

Once home I slam the door shut, run straight to my room, and just jump on my bed. I try to go to sleep, but all I can think about is today, then thoughts of what Jack said about my dad came to mind, great just what I need, now all I can think of is what he did to me, on day

FLASHBACK

"YOU'RE A STUPID BOY THAT I WISH I FORCED YOUR STUPID MOTHER TO GET AN ABORTION ON AS SOON AS SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT" my dad shouts as im up against the wall, him holding my shoulders hard, feeling like my bones were just gonna crumble at any point now "YOU ARE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER" and thats when I feel a blow to my face, he hits my full pelt, I wince "OH COME ON YOU'RE 11 GROW THE FUCK UP AND TAKE IT LIEK A MAN" he hits me again but in the stomach, I fall to the floor with a bang, he then kicks me in the side "please stop" I plead "NO, YOU DESERVE THIS, FOR BEING BORN YOU STUPID FUCKING KID" he says as he kicks me again, all you can hear is me screaming for help, "NO ONE IS GONNA HEAR YOU LITTLE BOY, NO ONE IS HERE BUT ME AND YOU, IC OULD DO THIS ALL NIGHT IF I WANTED TO" he grabs my t-shirt and pushes me against the wall again "NOW AS IM FEELIGN NICE TODAY, IM GONNA LET YOU GO, SO GO TO YOUR ROOM, I DONT WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU UNLESS I CALL YOU" he pushes me into the direction of my room, I walk, well crawl to my room, once in my room, I can hear the tv playing from the living room, I got to the corner of my room, and just cry.

END FLASHBACK

I wince at the memory, and I can feel tears rolling down my face, which doesnt happen often, as I open my eyes, im in the corner of my room, just like back then, the flashback felt so real, my side hurts, just from a memory. I wish I was never born. I wish my mother never met that guy, or just like he said, had an abortion with me, it would have been much simpler, I woudlnt of had to go through this pain, and he would of left her sooner, rather than hurting her feelings over and over again. I hit my hand on the floor "I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I FUCKIGN HIT HIM" I shout, I get up and go to the living room, and turn the tv on, trying to get all these things off my mind, I out a dvd on and lie down on the couch, after a while, I feel my self dozing off.


	4. Chapter 4

I dont even know what I just told Austin, I dont know whats going on, all I know is im walking away, I dont know what just happened, between him and that other boy, what he meant by things he said, or what happened between me and Austin, did I just say that I like him, like, like like him, its just, I dont know, its true though, that kiss, was, something, I dont know what but it was, he probably didnt feel anything though, shit, im an idiot, I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes, whats he going to think now.

The rest of the afternoon I just go to lessons talk to new friends I have made made, and so on.

When I walk through the front door of my so called house, my brother is in the living room, when I ask him where mum is he just says out and goes back to watching whatever he is watching on tv. It doesnt surprise me that she isnt home, but then again Bill should be at work, so who knows where she is, probably to find a job seen as she doesnt have one yet.

I go straight to my room, I lie down on my bed for a while, not really doing anything but thinking about today, when my bedroom door opens and in walks Aaron.

"hey sis"  
"hey" I say still lying down not looking at him  
"what happened at lunch time?"  
"what do you mean?"  
"after that Austin boy and some other boy had a argument, you stayed behind to talk to him, what was it about?"  
"how do you know I stayed behind" I sit up on my elbows  
"i was walking away when I turned round and saw you talking to him, so I stayed by the corner, and next thing I knew I saw was you walking away, looking kind of upset, and then when you came back you didnt really talk to me, what happened, what did he say to you?"  
"nothing happened"  
"come on sis tell me, I dont want to getting on his wrong side"  
"i wont I promise"  
"really though? You need to stay away, he does drugs, and even beats some people up for no reason"  
"how do you know he has no reason?"  
"I have talked to people today and they brought him into the conversation, from what I heard he sounds bad, you shouldnt even talk to him"  
"well its a little hard seen as I have to sit by him in two lessons already, and you shouldnt believe anything people say unless you hear it from the actual person"  
"why shouldnt I believe it? You saw what he was like the other night at the party"  
"so, he was drunk"  
"and? That doesnt explain everything...what do you know?"  
"i dont know anything"  
"yes you do,w hat did you talk about with him?"  
"you really want to know" all he does is nod "fine, so he just wanted to explain about something he did at the party, he started telling me why he acts that way, and its cause of drugs and alcohol, he said he has a reason why he drinks and takes, but the bell went before he told me, and then at lunch time, I could see in his eyes he had taking some drugs, and tried asking him why, but he wouldnt, so thats it"  
"wait rewind a bit, what did he want to explain, what did he do at the party that he needed to explain?"  
"nothing, its nothing really"  
"it cant be nothing, thats tell me Em"  
"its nothing really, now can you just leave, its been a long first day I just want some peace"  
"fine, but please dont keep secrets from me, if its serious I want to know okay"  
"okay"

He leaves and I just fall back on my bed. Why does he want to know so much, its not like he cares that much about me, he never has before anyway.

I get off my bed and go into the bathroom, I take a shower to try and take my mind off everything that has already happened since we got here, who knows what else will happen, if that stuff has happened already.

AUSTIN'S POV

TUEDAY!

"whats up bro" I hear Alex say as he catches up to me in the hall  
"nothing much"  
"well okay then, whats going on with you and Emily"  
"nothign why?"  
"its just you stayed behind to talk to her, and you talked to her in the sports hall during break, but you didnt tell me about it, what was that about"  
"nothing really, just drop it"  
"okay"  
We keep walking for a bit then stop at his locker.  
"hey whats going on with you and Sarah" I ask him  
"i really dont know mate"  
"im sorry by the way, I didnt mean what I said about her"  
"i know you didnt, but she doesnt"  
"i can talk to her if you want me too, she I actually really great for you, whenever I saw you two together I knew it was something special"  
"dude you sound like a girl right now" Alex says while laughing slightly  
"shut up" I hit him on his arm  
"Austin, please dont talk to her, I want to sort it out, I want you to stay out of, its not personal or anything its just..."  
"she doesnt like me, yeah yeah I know, I want talk to her if you dont want me too"  
"thanks"  
We go to class.

Its lunch time when im walking down the halls and I see Emily standing by her locker, she looks sad, like really sad. I just want to go over there, but I cant. Something is telling me not too. I lean against the locker, just staring at her. Why is she so, I dont even know, just on my mind all I time. Its weird. Since yesterday I have been thinking about what she has said. I dont know why though, its not like I should care. But I do, a lot actually. God, whats gotten into me. Right now I would be with my mates behind the sheds, smoking, but im here, staring at a girl, who I hardly know, just wanting to go over to her and kiss her.

As im looking I feel some bump into me "WATCH IT MATE" I shout, its someone who I have never seen before, oh wait I have, but I dont know where, all I hear is a small sorry and he walks off. But not out of sight, he walks over to Emily. I see them talking but dont know what about.

Thinking about it a bit, I finally figure out who that dude is, its her brother from the beach and party. They dont look alike though.

I feel stupid just staring but I cant help it, I mean she is amazing. Next thing I know she looks right at me. I look into her eyes, her brother turns around, and gives me evils, not that I care, im too busy looking at Emily. She gives me a small smile and then walks off with her brother. That smile, even though it wasnt big, its was still, amazing.

I shake my head trying to get these thoughts out of my head. The bell goes. I hate that sound. But then I remember what lesson I have. Maths. I get to speak to Emily, see if I can talk to her about what she said, and maybe figure out whats going through my head right now. I mean I understand what she said, I guess I feel the same. Oh I dont know.

I walk into class and take my seat, but Emily isnt next to me, maybe she is just late. But she doesnt turn up though the whole lesson. Weird. Is she avoiding me, or did something come up.

Its the end of the school day, me and Alex go to the park, we dont want to go home, but dont want to be around the others either.

We are kicking a football around when Alex kicks it hard and it goes far, "nice one dude" I say while running to get it, when I pick it up and look up I see Emily with her brother, just sitting in the grass. I look back to Alex, and then to them two. I walk over to them.

"hey" I say  
"what do you want" her brother says  
"just thought i'd come say hi, you both look bored"  
"so, what do you care"  
"wow you're just as bad me arnt you"  
"what do you mean"  
"you know what im like, I know im a dick, but who knew thre was someone who was close to as bad as me"  
"im nothing like you"  
"not by the sounds of it, I just came over to see if you wanted to join us maybe, im being friendly"  
"well we dont..." her brother starts saying  
"sure why not, we got nothing better to do have we Az" Emily says interruption him, she stands up "come on Aaron, it will be fun, we cant just sit here all day anyway"  
"seriously dude, I know I can be a dick, but im not that bad"  
"fine." Aaron says getting up, he takes the ball off me, come on then Em, lets show these Americans how to play football"  
"oh its on now" I say running behind him with Emily running after us " Alex come on, its us two against them two"  
"sound pal" Alex says.

We play footie for a while, laughing, and just having fun, I got to admit, I havent had this much fun in a while. It feels good.

"okay im done" Emily says, lying down on the grass  
"oh you're such a girl" Aaron says  
"yeah I know right im like the biggest girl out of us four"

Me, Alex and Aaron sit down by her.

"you still hate me?" I ask Aaron  
"i wouldnt say hate, but from what I have heard, you seem like a total dick, but today you seem nothing like what people have said, so its not hate"  
"thats cause he is sober, when he is sober, he is one of the nicest people I know anyway" Alex says  
"yeah, uh, my behaviour depends on stuff like drinking and stuff"  
"so when you do stuff like, insult his girlfriend, or have a go at Em at the beach you are drunk?"  
"yeah pretty much, I change big time when I have drank or taking something, but not everyone's knows that, they think im a dick all the time"  
"wait, this must be a record for you" Alex says  
"what?"  
"you havent drank or taking today have you?"  
"no"  
"dude its like the first day in months you havent"  
"why?"  
"Why what?"  
"why havent you?"  
"i dont know"  
"maybe your actions are finally hitting you, and you want to wise up" Emily says, I look at her and she is picking at the grass  
"maybe" I say "look im sorry about the beach, and for ruining the party for both of you, its just me out of control, and sorry for shouting when you bumped into me earlier, that was just annoyance"  
"its alight dude, everyone hates it when someone bumps into them" Aaron says  
"hey Alex, look who is over there" I point over to where I see Sarah standing, he looks over "go talk to her now man, while you have the chance"  
"i dont want to go over yet, nto on my own anyway"  
"but you said earlier you want me to stay away from her"  
"yeah I know, thats why I dont want to go now, I will some other time, when one of the guys is with me"  
"oh come on dude dont be chicken" I hit him on him on his arm "hey maybe Aaron will go with you"  
"uh, fine, will you?" Alex asks Aaron  
"sure why not" they get up and start walking over to Sarah  
"what do you think will happen?" Emily asks  
"i dont know, I hope it goes good though"  
"im guessing you didnt mean what you said then"  
"no I didnt, I think they are amazing together actually"  
"you must hate how you become sometimes then"  
"i really do, I wish I didnt have to drink or anything but sometimes its the only thing that makes pain go away if you get me"  
"yeha I do, what makes you though? Like whats make you feel pain and stuff"  
"uh, stuff my dad did when he was around"  
"oh, is he dead now?"  
"no, I wish, but no he just left us"  
"oh im sorry, I guess you must hate him if you wish he was dead"  
"yeah I really do, like he caused me and my mum so much pain, its just I dont even know"  
"im sorry, im getting curious now though, you dont have to tell me if you dont want to its fine, but what has he done thats so bad?"  
"its fine, I expect questions now, I dont know why I told you that much, but uh, he cheated on my mum, a lot actually, and then he uh, I cant believe im telling you thin, but he uh he said a load of stuff to me, and he also hits me sometimes"  
"wait what? So he like abused you?"  
"yeah"  
"im sorry, no one deserve that, it must have been hard, so thats why you do o much bad stuff"  
"yep, I wish I didnt have to, I really do but, its just helps, it takes my mind off things, but then I turn into someone like him, and I hate that as well"  
"you need to talk to someone then, have you talked to your mum?"  
"no I dont want to disappoint her"  
"what doesnt she know you do drugs and drink?"  
"she knows I drink a lot, and stuff I have done, but not the drugs, I dont know how to tell her, I feel really bad"  
"look, I may have only known you just over a week, and you were a total dick like a really big one at first, but, you can talk to me if you want, about these things, I weirdly consider us friends, and I dont know why"  
"really? I thought you hated me"  
"would I of played football with you if I did? Or be talking to you now?"  
"i guess not" we just look at each other for a while, then I look over to where Alex, Aaron, Sarah and one of her friends are, I see them sitting down and talking, looks like its going well, I look back to Emily, and into her eyes, god them eyes " I uh" I starting saying something but the words dont come out.

"do it" I hear Emily whisper, her staring into my eyes, does she really know what I want to do.  
"do what?" I say swallowing, im scared, and I dont know why, when ever I have wanted to do this before I just do it  
"you know what", thats all she says, I start to lean in, I see her close her eyes and lean in too, next thing I know I feel her lips on mine, its like they fit perfectly together, it feels different to any time I have kissed a girl before, but good different, a really good different, I put one of my hands on her cheek and deepen the kiss. We both pull back, I open my eyes and look at her, she is opening her eyes slowly and biting her lip, she is so cute, is my first thought, and then, damn she is such a good kisser.

"that was" I start to say but cant finish the sentence  
"yeah" is all she says like she knows what I meant  
"uh look, I dont really do this, but uh, would you like uh, you know, uh.." she rises one of her eyebrows, she knows what im tying to say, but wants me to say it "uh would you like, uh, are you free tomorrow night?"  
"maybe why?" jeez cant she just say yes already  
"you know to, uh go on a date with me" I say in a whisper  
"oh is Austin shy, awww"  
"shut up"  
"yes, im free, and yes I will go on a date with you, I dont know why but I will"  
"cool, can I get your number then so I can text you" she gives me her number and I give mine.

Aaron and Alex come back over, with Sarah and her friend, looks like it went good.

"hey" I say, they all say hey back, "uh Sarah look im sorry about Saturday, I really didnt mean it, honestly you two are the best couple I know"  
"apology accepted, Alex explained to me, I understand, you were very drunk, everyone changing while drunk and high its fine" she says  
"sorry though I really am"

After that we all say bye. Emily and Aaron go home, Alex and Sarah go to Alex's, probably for make up sex, and Sarah friend, who I really dont know the name of goes home. I dont though, I stay sitting, by a tree just thinking. About Emily. About the kiss. It was amazing. I am actually excited about tomorrow night as well. I take out my phone, and see its nearly 9pm, I send a quick text to Emily that says 'that kiss was something like never before it felt amazing, I couldnt say that in person cause I was scare, yes me scared, dont take the piss, good night cutie see you tomorrow ;)'. I smile at her reply 'oh so you really do have a soft side dont ya? It was amazing though, better than any other kiss I have had before, night bad arse, or should I say softy...hmm.. :)'.

I then go home, and for the first day in months, I havent taking one bit of drug or drink, and I feel good, better than normal actually. See what happens tomorrow though.


End file.
